Teichm\"uller curves in hyperelliptic components of meromorphic strata

We provide a complete classification of Teichm\"uller curves occurring in hyperelliptic components of the meromorphic strata of differentials. Using a non-existence criterion based on how Teichm\"uller curves intersect the boundary of the moduli space we derive a contradiction to the algebraicity of any candidate outside of Hurwitz covers of strata with projective dimension one and Hurwitz covers of zero residue loci in strata with projective dimension two.