The dipolar death of massive gravity

We study extreme-mass-ratio systems in theories admitting the Schwarzschild solution and propagating a massive graviton. We show that, in addition to small corrections to the quadrupolar and higher-order modes, a dipolar mode is excited in these theories and we quantify its excitation. While LIGO-Virgo-KAGRA observations are not expected to impose meaningful constraints in the dipolar sector, future observations by the Einstein Telescope or by LISA, together with bounds from dispersion relations, can rule out theories of massive gravity admitting vacuum General Relativistic backgrounds. For the bound to be circumvented, one needs to move away from Ricci-flat solutions, and enter a territory where constraints based on wave propagation and dispersion relations are not reliable.