Only Death Will Separate Us: The Role of Extramarital Partnerships among Himba Pastoralists

Extramarital partnerships are highly stigmatized in many societies and are typically excluded from studies of family dynamics and social support. Nevertheless, in many societies such relationships are common and can have important impacts on resource security and health outcomes. However, current studies of these relationships come mainly from ethnographic studies, with quantitative data extremely rare. Here we present data from a 10-year study of romantic partnerships among a community of Himba pastoralists in Namibia, where concurrency is common. The majority of married men (97%) and women (78%) currently reported having more than one partner ( n = 122). Using multilevel models comparing marital and nonmarital relationships, we found that, contrary to conventional wisdom surrounding concurrency, Himba form enduring bonds with extramarital partners that often last decades and are very similar to marital ones in terms of length, emotional affect, reliability, and future prospects. Qualitative interview data showed that extramarital relationships were imbued with a set of rights and obligations that, while distinct from those of spouses, provide an important source of support. Greater inclusion of these relationships in studies of marriage and family would provide a clearer picture of social support and resource transfers in these communities and help to explain variation in the practice and acceptance of concurrency around the world.