Dancing My Scoliosis: An Autoethnography Of Healing From Bodily Doubt Through Somatic Practices

When I was twelve years old, I attended a routine school posture screening. Following an orthopaedic examination, I was diagnosed with adolescent idiopathic scoliosis. Although it turned out for me that it was not a serious and progressive form of scoliosis, the diagnosis impacted my life in a disabling way, resulting in feelings of fear, anxiety, and losing a sense of trust in my own body. I experienced bodily doubt. This was also accompanied by me negatively objectifying my body. This article is an evocative autoethnography presenting my personal story of experiencing a medical diagnosis of scoliosis. The health of my spine was evaluated purely by comparison to a desired aesthetical straight line. The way I felt in my body was never taken into consideration during this process. It is also a story of finding my own ways of healing, which was possible through engaging in dance and somatic practices. They allowed me to experience my body as a living subject - a soma. I was able to find ways to positively objectify my body through practices of deep body listening and developing greater bodily awareness. My healing was also connected to re-gaining a sense of bodily certainty and trust, through experiencing moments of wholeness in spontaneous expressive self-movement. Dance is also vital in my story. The personal evolution of approaching dance presents a healing potential of this art, allowing for the conscious, expressive, and therapeutic nature of the living body to be unveiled.